Having everything but also nothing
The missing piece is within reach but we’re too ambitious to notice
There’s a certain kind of ache that hits hardest when life is actually going well.
Your life might look like this on the outside:
a well-paid job
a good marriage
a place to call home
a decent level of health
and even a renewed identity in something bigger than yourself.
But oddly something still feels off.
I feel the same way. Let’s explore why. If you identified with this, you’re probably introspective and that’s both a good and bad thing.
Good because unlike the average Joe, we can become aware of the inner roadblocks that stop us from growing. Most people never get this far. Awareness is the thing nobody teaches you. Everyone needs more of it but you already have it.
The bad thing is that it can lead to rumination. Which opens up a portal to negativity like depression, anxiety, binge eating, coping with screens, the like.
Recently, I uncovered a personal flaw that makes me feel shitty despite having a lot to be grateful for. But I also found professing gratitude has a profound mirroring effect.
When I caught myself saying something like, “I’m not a good dad because I lack patience,” I changed it to, “Lord, thank you for giving me the capacity to improve as a loving father.” I genuinely felt better after. The shift in perspective didn’t leave space for rumination into dead ends.
It invited calm and peace.
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It’s not always easy though. Sometimes I find it hard to feel enjoyment in what I’m doing.
I get too obsessed with progress and optimization that I forget to pay attention and enjoy the things I’m striving so hard to achieve.
Does that resonate?
Enjoyment in good things is the point of life, isn’t it?
What’s the point of making a million dollars or building the most successful business if it kills your spirit? So then what actually makes something worth doing?
You might think it’s the achievement itself but what happens when you GET there? On to the next thing.
“Now what?”
“What then?”
We missed a key insight. There’s no shortage of things to achieve. And we’re going to have to face a stark reality at some point: there will be hundreds of goals left unfinished when we die.
And if you want to remain on a meaningful path you will start finding enjoyment in what you’re doing now.
I understand that multiple passions are “just who I am” but only if I want to keep suffering, will I carry that belief to my grave. So instead, I’ll choose to swallow my pride and let go of 90% of the things I once thought I needed to do to feel fulfilled.
Becoming a successful YouTuber.
Owning a gym as a fitness entrepreneur.
Living as a digital nomad and working at a beach for 2 hours a day.
Trying to be the guy who had it all figured out before 30.
The list goes on.
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Lately, I’ve been wrestling with God a lot.
Trying to formulate my own answers from the same headspace that got me confused in the first place. I kept negotiating with Him, like if I could find a version of my plan that He’d eventually approve of. But I simply needed to let God reveal what’s good and enjoyable in my life and give it my full attention.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6
So what’s left when you stop performing? Usually the things that were there the whole time.
Your kids, your wife, your community, your writing that no one reads, your videos only 10 people watch, your basketball games that you lose 80% of the time.
But hey it’s still fun to play and get some good cardio in, right? Take stock in the little things. The moments that make you feel like you’re supposed to be here.
You can find joy in anything if you decide it’s worth your attention. Like how I enjoy writing this now.
Be still and know,
Brand Marz.